Might I be the prodigal daughter?
It’s taken me many years to return to You.
When I would not let myself be with You,
the guilt I felt was overwhelming.
I never knew what was wrong or why I failed..
When my despair and fear overwhelmed me,
and I could cope no longer with my dark night,
I finally allowed myself to reach for help,
To a sensitive therapist wise beyond his young years,
and to a co-worker himself just embracing the Catholic faith.
Could it be that You reached out to me through them?My lonely journey
of discovery into myself,
and then ultimately learning to love You,
has been so long and difficult.
Along the way I met a Saint, whose name is John of the Cross,
I could feel his presence as his words talked of his love for You.
And now, for the first time in my forty-nine years,
I can say that I, too, know and feel Your presence,
I know that I love You with my mind, my body and my soul.
I had to first accept myself before I could reach deep inside
and open the doors I had locked so long ago.
With these barriers dissolved, Your love and mercy can fill my soul.The
unloved, neglected and abused child that I was
could have found love and strength in You, too,
but I didn’t know how, and no one told me,
and I was too timid and shy to ask.
Maybe because of my long struggle with grief and pain,
I can appreciate You now even more.
Words cannot do justice to what I feel in my heart,
Please just know that I love You,
That my feelings are true and honest,
And for the first time, I can feel the wonder of myself,
Because You, My Father, created me.
7/22/98
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